Diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
Joy.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
at long last
I knew that I'd never post on this damn blog. Well, I'm at school, using one of their new Macs, which I've already decided that I hate with a passion stronger than most. That's ok though, I'll probably never use one again. The nightmares are back in full force, and Josh screwed up my hip when we were wrestling, but both of those should take care of themselves. Yesterday was Veteran's day, and at 11 I took a moment to think of our soldiers, past, present, and future.
I hope Josh goes active, it'll be good for all of us.
Nothing else to really say, just worrying about the normal. I'd really rather that he goes active than gets deployed while in the Guard... not sure why though. We'll see.
Talk to you all soon (my non-existent readership!)
I hope Josh goes active, it'll be good for all of us.
Nothing else to really say, just worrying about the normal. I'd really rather that he goes active than gets deployed while in the Guard... not sure why though. We'll see.
Talk to you all soon (my non-existent readership!)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Pain and first loves
"I'm beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be built up on the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think."
Dunno, just found it on the PC while clearing it out. Not doing too much moving these days, got 10 injections on Monday afternoon. My title seems all deep, but like normal, I don't have too much to really say. I hurt like hell, was crying like crazy and just want it to go away.
Normal.
We might die from medication,
But we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening,
By the morning seems insane.
(Summer Decapitation Ritual)
I marked place in medieval summer beat
A guillotine prepared for amusement of god and his crowd
Shouting their annual menace
Into the cruel vacuum rapidly descending
Desiring death to anticipate the doom divine, the temptation, his triumph
Thus, as no martyr I burn at the cross
With lack of strength to climb out of the white abyss again
Behead me!
For at the depths of this spiral
Even death cannot disburden me of life.
I'm not even really sure what's going through my head. Doc wrote me a new script for Xanax, said he was considering Valium since I was freaking out so much, but all that'll do is make me into more of a zombie than I already am.
Nature shows that with the growth of intelligence comes increased capacity for pain, and it is only with the highest degree of intelligence that suffering reaches its supreme point. -Shopenhauer
Willpower is to the mind like a strong blind man who carries on his shoulders a lame man who can see. -Shopenhauer
I can't wait for my clothes to get here.
Same with my new Zen, and Josh's.
I love him so damn much.
Need to sleep.
Up at 6.
Bah.
Wish me luck, it hasn't hurt me so far.
Dunno, just found it on the PC while clearing it out. Not doing too much moving these days, got 10 injections on Monday afternoon. My title seems all deep, but like normal, I don't have too much to really say. I hurt like hell, was crying like crazy and just want it to go away.
Normal.
We might die from medication,
But we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening,
By the morning seems insane.
(Summer Decapitation Ritual)
I marked place in medieval summer beat
A guillotine prepared for amusement of god and his crowd
Shouting their annual menace
Into the cruel vacuum rapidly descending
Desiring death to anticipate the doom divine, the temptation, his triumph
Thus, as no martyr I burn at the cross
With lack of strength to climb out of the white abyss again
Behead me!
For at the depths of this spiral
Even death cannot disburden me of life.
I'm not even really sure what's going through my head. Doc wrote me a new script for Xanax, said he was considering Valium since I was freaking out so much, but all that'll do is make me into more of a zombie than I already am.
Nature shows that with the growth of intelligence comes increased capacity for pain, and it is only with the highest degree of intelligence that suffering reaches its supreme point. -Shopenhauer
Willpower is to the mind like a strong blind man who carries on his shoulders a lame man who can see. -Shopenhauer
I can't wait for my clothes to get here.
Same with my new Zen, and Josh's.
I love him so damn much.
Need to sleep.
Up at 6.
Bah.
Wish me luck, it hasn't hurt me so far.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Bleh
Not a good weekend at work really... but whatever. People are lying sacks and need to grow up and learn how to deal with other people. I've fallen in love with a song that's "violin rock" by Tantric called Down and Out. It's super amazing.
My tooth that had the root canal over a year ago just started hurting again, which probably isn't a good sign. Dentist said it'd be like 800 to get it crowned... so I'll wait for a bit, like until my insurance rolls over in January.
Josh went to a gun show in Saratoga today and got a Gerber hydration pack (with improved bite valve and hard shell) that he's raving about and an "undetectable" knife. Why he needs it, I dunno, but it's all good.
I just can't wait for our anniversary.
I think I'll sign off for now, nothing too super spectacular going on here. Tired, sore, but it wasn't really a bad day. Any time I spend time with my hubby is good time, especially now that we're laughing more than ever. Gosh, I love him.
My tooth that had the root canal over a year ago just started hurting again, which probably isn't a good sign. Dentist said it'd be like 800 to get it crowned... so I'll wait for a bit, like until my insurance rolls over in January.
Josh went to a gun show in Saratoga today and got a Gerber hydration pack (with improved bite valve and hard shell) that he's raving about and an "undetectable" knife. Why he needs it, I dunno, but it's all good.
I just can't wait for our anniversary.
I think I'll sign off for now, nothing too super spectacular going on here. Tired, sore, but it wasn't really a bad day. Any time I spend time with my hubby is good time, especially now that we're laughing more than ever. Gosh, I love him.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Fresh Start
we've compromised our pride
and sacrificed our health
we have to demand more
not of each other
but more from ourselves.
Just starting out this blog, we'll see how long it lasts.
I'm a 20 year old college senior from upstate NY, married to the man of my dreams. The plan for this blog is to help my memory out, especially with my fibromyalgia treatment and effects. Each day gets a little more difficult, and the hope is that writing down my mindless babbles will help to get it out of my overcrowded mind.
Josh is playing with Legos right now... I'm too busy thinking about my damn coursework and wondering when my student loan money is coming in so I can repay my parents for being amazing and buying my textbooks for the semester. Gah.
I don't really have anything to say, but I'll be doing this often, if anyone reads.
and sacrificed our health
we have to demand more
not of each other
but more from ourselves.
Just starting out this blog, we'll see how long it lasts.
I'm a 20 year old college senior from upstate NY, married to the man of my dreams. The plan for this blog is to help my memory out, especially with my fibromyalgia treatment and effects. Each day gets a little more difficult, and the hope is that writing down my mindless babbles will help to get it out of my overcrowded mind.
Josh is playing with Legos right now... I'm too busy thinking about my damn coursework and wondering when my student loan money is coming in so I can repay my parents for being amazing and buying my textbooks for the semester. Gah.
I don't really have anything to say, but I'll be doing this often, if anyone reads.
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