Pain and first loves

"I'm beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be built up on the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think."

Dunno, just found it on the PC while clearing it out. Not doing too much moving these days, got 10 injections on Monday afternoon. My title seems all deep, but like normal, I don't have too much to really say. I hurt like hell, was crying like crazy and just want it to go away.

Normal.

We might die from medication,
But we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening,
By the morning seems insane.


(Summer Decapitation Ritual)
I marked place in medieval summer beat
A guillotine prepared for amusement of god and his crowd
Shouting their annual menace
Into the cruel vacuum rapidly descending
Desiring death to anticipate the doom divine, the temptation, his triumph
Thus, as no martyr I burn at the cross
With lack of strength to climb out of the white abyss again
Behead me!
For at the depths of this spiral
Even death cannot disburden me of life.

I'm not even really sure what's going through my head. Doc wrote me a new script for Xanax, said he was considering Valium since I was freaking out so much, but all that'll do is make me into more of a zombie than I already am.

Nature shows that with the growth of intelligence comes increased capacity for pain, and it is only with the highest degree of intelligence that suffering reaches its supreme point. -Shopenhauer

Willpower is to the mind like a strong blind man who carries on his shoulders a lame man who can see. -Shopenhauer

I can't wait for my clothes to get here.
Same with my new Zen, and Josh's.
I love him so damn much.
Need to sleep.
Up at 6.
Bah.

Wish me luck, it hasn't hurt me so far.